"Why do relationships always start off so fun and then turn into suck-a-bag-of-dicks?"
-Friends With Benefits
Okay, so I'm a sucker for that movie, but Justin Timberlake does make a point. Why does it always seem like marriage sucks the fun out of love, don't deny that you've heard the expression... Everyone joked with me before I got married about how I need to prepare for no more fun with Hubby, just housework... We've all heard "the old ball and chain" references. My question is why? Seriously. If anyone has the answer, please please please comment and enlighten us all.
So far (I say that with caution, sorry honey), I've been really lucky in the whole "fun marriage" department. Hubby and I don't really fight, and when we do it's about stupid things that are easily solved. I've always said, never go to bed angry. Even if it means not sleeping for a night or two, fix the problem before it gets worse, or buried in that secret vault of grudges that you keep (again, not one of you can say that you don't have at least one card to play when you're trying to gain leverage over your SO... "Yeah? Well remember that time you (insert stupid error)... You owe me now.") Don't do that!
I know that I say this time and time again, but it's seriously something to live by. Being in a military lifestyle, I've learned that time is of the essence. There's not enough time in a day to sit and grovel in your significant other's mistakes. Get over it. Love again.
People continuously warned me... Husbands aren't the same after the wedding. Say goodbye to the daily 'I love you's and the kisses goodnight/good morning/goodbye/etc. Say goodbye to the cuddling, long walks on the beach, romantic evenings... Sober evenings, fartless nights, burpless meals, and (how shall I word this politely...) a day without public genitalia-adjustment... Everyone says that our men basically turn into mannerless pigs with no sense of self-respect or pride. I know that some guys read this page, so let me address you for a minute. If you are the guy I just described, consider surprising your lady with some flowers or a nice night out. Actually kiss her or pick her up and carry her away when you come home from work. Do the dishes, or laundry! Even going to the bathroom to adjust yourself when you're at Walmart with her... Believe me, she'll appreciate it. Greatly. She still loves you, but she'd like to see the Prince Charming that she married once in a while. Be the man she fell in love with.
Well, what about the rumors about us, the wives? We fart, burp, explosively poop with the door open, don't cook, don't put on makeup (or a bra for that matter)... We shrink his favorite clothes in the dryer, complain about stupid things, and oh yes... Let's not forget that we don't put out. Right? Now I must say, I'm not entirely innocent in this. To be completely honest, I'm writing this in my bath robe with no makeup, or bra, on... Granted, my husband isn't home but I don't exactly plan on changing before he gets here. It's Friday: I don't have to go anywhere, so I'm going to be lazy. Ladies, let's remember the time when we cared about impressing our men. Just because they married us doesn't mean they don't care about what we look like anymore. I'd like to hope that many of your husbands are like mine and say that you look good in anything. They say that, but they still want to see us put some effort in from time to time. Let's make them remember why they married us.
Another thing that I've found to be extremely important in my marriage is doing crazy stuff. I see it all the time, couples falling into the routine of doing the same thing every night. I know that having children makes it harder to get out, but God invented babysitters for a reason. I'm not saying that you need to go skydiving or snorkeling in Australia... Just go out on a date or something. Go out to dinner, at a place you haven't been to before. Or take a drive to a scenic place and watch the sunset. Last weekend, Hubby and I got our tax return. What did we do? We, well... he, went and got a tattoo at 10:30 at night just because he wanted it. I would have but the whole pregnancy thing kind of put a damper on my fun (Don't get pissy with me. That was sarcasm. I don't mind missing out). Have fun together, "like you used to..."
Marriage doesn't have to be all "suck-a-bag-of-dicks" like it's portrayed. My biggest pet peeve is when people tell me that our marriage is going to fail because we're young. Umm, who are you and when did you become part of my marriage?! Every marriage is different. Don't try to fit in the societal mold. It's not worth it. Be the couple you are.
I just read an article talking about what people think "I love you" means. Here is what they came up with:
31% - I want you in my life.
31% - I want you in my life.
30% - I care about you.
19% - I want to have a committed relationship with you.
14% - I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I don't really have a point to make with that, I just found it sort of interesting. How do you define "I love you?"
Valentine's Day is coming! I know that a lot of people don't "buy into the Hallmark holiday," but it's always rough being the girl who doesn't get anything from her significant other. I'm going to go on a limb and say that it's almost worse than being the single one. Guys, get your lady something nice. Ladies, do the same. It's not a one way holiday.
Lesson of the day: Keep your relationship fun.
God Bless ♥ Vi.