Thursday, May 31, 2012

Death & Dying

When I switched my major to General Studies, I had to choose three concentrations to build my degree on: Sociology, Writing, and Business. I've always been fascinated with sociology. I clearly like writing (that's why I blog). I figured some common knowledge about business would be useful. I debated between working through all of the concentrations individually, taking only sociology classes in the summer, only writing classes in the Fall, and only business classes in the Spring. I decided against that (thank goodness). This summer I'm only taking two classes, a decision that still irks me. By dropping to only two classes this summer, I moved my graduation date up a whole semester. I'm still graduating a whole year early but it kills me that I could have done it a year and a half early. Oh well! This way, I won't have to take maximum credit loads every semester and I'll have more time to spend with the baby.
The two classes I'm taking this summer are Introduction to Statistics, and... Death & Dying. You're probably thinking, "Why would you take a class on death?" The answer? I have no idea. It is required for my major, that's the real reason, but why I didn't attempt to find a way around it, I have no idea. Oh wait, here's the kicker: I'm taking this class while my husband is away. It ends about a week after he returns from training.
So, yes. I'm taking a class on dying while I'm alone. My professor actually emailed us warning us to find someone to talk to who we feel completely open with. That would be my husband. Who doesn't have constant access to a phone? My husband. So, that makes this fun.
Today, I got to watch a video about the last few days of a person who is terminally ill's life. That was awful. This is the second 87 minute long video about dying/dead people that I've had to watch this week alone. There are more to come. What did I learn today? There's no "right way" to see a person off... There's no "right way" to die. Depressed yet? It gets worse. They actually filmed the woman from the video as she died... Awful. Now I get to write a paper on my reaction to it! Yippee!
I definitely did not think this through like I should have. I suppose, it's better that I take this class now rather than while he's deployed. I know that he's not in any serious danger where he is now and I know when he's coming home. That does make it a better timing I suppose, but it's still not ideal.
This class has made me think about dying a lot more than what I'd like to. Thinking about life without my loved ones terrifies me. I've been extremely fortunate so far in life, not having to deal with the death of immediate family or close friends.
Well, I'm off to go write a paper about how watching people die makes me feel, should be a good time.

God Bless ♥ Vi