Sunday, May 27, 2012

Ups and Downs

When spouses are away, life is a lot different. For people without kids (like me), it means only cooking for one person or not really cooking at all.. It means only doing laundry for one person. It means only cleaning up after one person (Yippee!) and only doing dishes for one person. It means actually being able to do my homework without distractions (other than from the dog). So, the "homemaking" gets a little easier when they're away. It's easier to keep everything nice and orderly, and even make progress on overall organization. All these things are nice, but it still sucks. I actually miss picking up his dirty socks when he's gone. I miss the challenge of figuring out how to get the stains out of his ACUs without fading them too much. I miss real food! It's so hard to cook for just one person. I miss having his stinky butt in bed at night, and the heat that comes from him. I've actually turned up the thermostat a few degrees because it gets too cold at night. I miss having someone to do dishes for me. Even though I don't cook a whole lot while he's gone, I still manage to come up with all sorts of dishes to be washed. Don't ask me how that works.
I think it's completely normal to go through ups and downs when your spouse is away. Keeping busy keeps my spirits up, but there's only so much I can do before I run out of things to clean. When that happens, I crash. It gives me too much time to think and wonder how he's doing. Walking or running used to work to keep me busy, but recently I've found that it doesn't work as well as it used to. I still think too much. If I'm doing pilates or something that actually takes brainpower, I do a little better. Homework helps too. I'm really glad that I decided to stay in college over the summer instead of taking it off. I would be going insane if I didn't. Writing him daily letters helps too, even if I do get to talk to him. I'm the type of person that needs to get it all out before I go to sleep. If there's anything on my mind, I'll lay there for hours... Writing to him (even if he doesn't end up reading the letters) helps me feel like he's still here and still involved with everything. Weekends always seem to drag on because there's less to do. I've started to make sure I have something planned for every day that he's away to keep myself occupied for at least some of the day. Every little bit helps. It's up to every individual to come up with their own coping techniques. Everyone is different, that's for sure.
God Bless ♥ Vi