Possession. It's something a lot of couples struggle with. It's something that can make or break a relationship. In single income households (which seem to be extremely common in a military town), I've started to notice differences in opinion quite a bit.
(For the sake of this blog, I'm going off of males working and females staying at home. I know, it's stereotypical... but I don't want to hear it. It's solely for the sake of this post.)
Opinion One: What's yours is mine. What's mine is mine.
He makes the money, but she spends the money. I often joke by saying that, but it's definitely in a kidding manner. Although I do handle most of the finances, I know that that money isn't made by me. People with this opinion often have relationship problems from what I've seen. They fight about money, but who wouldn't with a mindset like that? Marriage is about sharing.
Opinion Two: What's yours is yours. What's mine is mine.
I think that this is a step in the right direction, but still not completely there. When I make a decent amount working in my photography business, I usually spend that money on Adalin or on food. I don't usually buy myself a whole lot, unless I'm in need of a new top or work out clothes. Lately I've been trying to update my wardrobe to look more my age. But aside from that, my retail therapy is for Adalin or our home. Back to my point! If the income is unequal, this can also cause problems. People with this opinion often feel guilty asking the other person for extra money. The person who makes more also may feel more in control. Again, sharing is key.
Opinion Three: What's yours is ours. What's mine is ours.
This is what I strive for every day. As I said, I try to spend my money on us. My husband works hard for his money, which supports our family and gives us the life that we have. I don't feel obligated to spend my money on us, but I feel honored. I feel like it's the least I can do to give back to him for what he does. Honestly, I'm pretty spoiled. My husband is generous and allows me to buy myself things here and there. I can get my hair done when I want, and pamper myself from time to time. We can buy Adalin premium diapers and name brand clothing. Rarely does my husband ask for something in return. I feel so honored to be living the life that I do. I'm truly blessed. From the beginning of our marriage, we have tried to share everything. It's not something we've ever really sat down and talked about, but it's definitely something I've noticed in our marriage.
I realize more every single day how blessed I truly am.
Which opinion do you hold? Does it work for your relationship? Or, does it need some work?
God Bless ♥ Vi