Friday, June 28, 2013

Homecoming Interview

As I said in my homecoming post, we were interviewed by WTOC at the ceremony. I thought I'd share that video with you all:

WTOC-TV: Savannah, Beaufort, SC, News, Weather

Every time I watch that video I tear up a little bit. Seeing my husband hold our daughter for the first time in so long just makes my heart melt.

Everything is going really well in our house. We're adjusting pretty quickly to living with each other again. I'll be posting some reintegration updates next week about our biggest struggles, surprises, and just how everything is flowing.

Baby A is a walking maniac now. She is all over the place and is absolutely loving having her daddy home. She's such a wild child. He's absolutely in love with her baby jabber and climbing abilities.

Have a great weekend! I'm shooting a homecoming bright and early tomorrow, and when I say early I mean really early. It should be a great start to a wonderful weekend though!

God Bless ♥ V

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Stupid Facebook

This morning I realized that I have yet to post much on Facebook about Adalin walking. So, I record her wandering around the living room and playing with her toys. As I attempt to upload it to Facebook from my phone, I get a warning "Upload Failed. Please Log In." Huh?

So I hop on the computer, where I'm always logged onto Facebook. "Please Log In." Well maybe Facebook is just being stupid and did an update of their whole site or something? No. That's when I get this:


Um, what the Hell? Apparently I'm using a fake name. You know, because I have nothing better to do with my time... So not only did Facebook disable my personal page, but also my business page. Great right? So I had to scan my drivers license and email it to them in order to get anything back. Now I'm frantically checking my email to find out what on earth is going on. My photography business functions primarily off of Facebook. This is ridiculous. 

On another note, my husband headed back to work today. Though it should be a short day, it's weird not having him at home again. I'm in a really crappy mood now with all this Facebook crap so I'm off to go clean or do laundry or something. Yes, it is indeed a Monday!
God Bless ♥ V

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Homecoming: He's Home!

Homecoming is honestly one of the best experiences any military spouse will ever have. The emotions and excitement are so overwhelming, it's completely indescribable. Though I'd been to several homecomings to photograph families being reunited, being at my own ceremony was an experience all its own.

We got to the field over an hour before the buses came rolling in, being threatened by thunderstorms in the distance. It rained the whole drive to post, but once we got through the gate and entered the infamous "Fort Stewart Weather Bubble," there were only a few drops of rain. We continued to hear thunder rolling in the background, with the occasional strike of lightening but thank the Lord, the rain held off just long enough for a beautiful ceremony.

A local news station was there covering the ceremony. The reporter from WTOC saw Baby A's sign, "Daddy! I can't wait to WALK to you!" and interviewed us about what was going through my mind. I explained that my husband left when A was a mere 9 weeks old, and had no idea she could walk now. It was the hardest secret I've ever had to keep. I told her how excited I was to leave the house, knowing that the next time I walked through the front door, he would be with me.


It was ridiculously hot out, but we managed to stay in the shade for most of our wait. There was a pretty good breeze to keep us relatively cool. As the "set" ceremony time came and went, with no buses in sight, anxiety was at an all time high. Finally, they announced "The buses are a mile away!" It was time. 


We ran to the middle of the road as soon as I saw the police escort coming. Which bus was he on? Did he see us? Am I crazy for running through only partially stopped traffic? My man was here! 


The ceremony was pretty quick, and it was finally time to reunite with my husband. I don't think he read her sign because he still had no idea she could walk. He ran and scooped her up in his arms as quickly as possible, before she could even take a step. I couldn't help but hold back the tears. The look on his face as he saw his baby girl anxious to come to him was absolutely amazing.


That first kiss is really something I'll never forget. That first embrace is just incredible. I never wanted to let go. Once our emotions were slightly controlled, we attempted to have Adalin walk to him. She was a bit shy at first, but eventually she came around and I got the amazing experience I was hoping for. 

I will never forget these moments. I can't wait to see the rest of the photos that Carmen Garza Strong Photography got for us. I will definitely be posting them soon.

I'm now enjoying watching my husband attempt to play xbox while Adalin eats the remote and changes the channel on him. I'm beyond ecstatic to have my family reunited. 

God Bless ♥ V



Homecoming: Before the Ceremony Feelings

(This is a scheduled post, to abide by OPSEC regulations)

Wow! I'm jittery. We've got about an hour before I head to the field to pick up my soldier. Right now, I'm watching How I Met Your Mother on Netflix, trying to make time pass faster. Last night I couldn't sleep worth a flip. I stayed up until midnight to register Baby A for swim classes (finally!). I was able to get her registered. After that, I conked out... just kidding. Who could sleep at a time like this? I woke up every hour or so with crazy excitement. Once 6AM came, I sort of gave up on going back to sleep. I didn't actually get out of bed until closer to 7:30, but that was much earlier than I had originally hoped. I was planning on sleeping until Adalin woke up, then I would only have a few hours until we would be ready to leave. Wrong. As I said, who could sleep at a time like this? 

Anyway, the morning has dragged on much slower than I expected. I keep looking at the clocked, shocked because only 10 minutes have passed. We had originally planned on leaving about 40 minutes before the ceremony started. Now we're going to leave about an hour and 20 minutes before it starts. 

These feelings are intense. My stresses are pretty much gone. I'm anxious to see if Baby A walks to him. (By the time this posts, he will know that A is WALKING!! This has been the hardest secret I've ever had to keep. She started about 3 weeks ago, and he has no idea as I'm writing this). The plan is to have her walk to him as he walks to us. Her sign says "Daddy! I can't wait to walk to you!" I will definitely post pictures. My sign says "Come get your girls!" I'm so excited for this. I'm pretty sure I've peed about 40 times since 8AM. It's obnoxious. Other than the 50/50 chance of her walking to him, I'm not too stressed about anything else. There's a 40% chance of rain right now, so we don't know if the ceremony will be at the wonderful Cotrell Field or in the gym. I'm just ready for it. 

I guess I'm going to go finish getting ready (who am I kidding, I've been ready for hours). Sometime in the next week I will post our whole homecoming experience. I can't wait to share this experience with my followers. It's nice to be waiting on this side of the camera for once. 

God Bless ♥ V

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Homecoming Stresses

I've spend the last few weeks starting to prepare for my husband's homecoming. If you would have asked me what my biggest stresses were a month ago, I'm not exactly sure what would have topped the list. To be honest, a month ago I was pretty relaxed. I had a fairly short to-do list, that I was certain would be completed with plenty of time to spare. Wrong.

The closer homecoming gets, the more I add to my to-do list. I am stressed. When I say stressed, I mean on the verge of a mental breakdown. Not really, but still... I don't recall a time in life that I was so stressed. I'm anxious. I'm nervous to see how everything goes. So now (xx amount of time) away from homecoming, here are my biggest stressors:


  1. Baby A: She is driving me nuts. About a week ago, she started this whimper thing. I'm not exactly sure how to type the sound, so imagine a puppy whimpering when he's waiting to go outside... all. the. time. Seriously, it's constant. When she wakes up, whimper. When I change her diaper, whimper. When she's playing, whimper. When she's exploring the house, whimper. When she's eating, whimper. When she's happy, whimper. When she's upset, whimper. I think you get the point, but this list could seriously go on and on. I am going insane. I don't know how to break her of it. There's nothing wrong, she's not in pain, or hungry, or anything... she just wants attention constantly. I'm seriously going crazy though. Aside from the whimper, I'm stressing to see how she's going to take to her daddy. She was nine weeks when he left, and now she's almost eleven months. She's a completely different baby. Most of the time, she takes to strangers really well... so hopefully she's come back to him as well as she did when he was here on emergency leave. Only time will tell.
  2. My house: It can't be clean enough. I've deep cleaned my carpets twice in the last week, and am feeling the itch to do it again. I'm vacuuming like a mad woman, and steaming my hard floors constantly. I've been scrubbing the walls, the bathtubs, the sinks, the counters... everything. I've been crazy with laundry. I'm trying to reorganize absolutely everything. My closet is a mess, and is not prepared for another person's wardrobe. There's just not enough time in a day.
  3. Food: My husband loves food. He like really loves food. So when I ask him "What do you want for dinner your first night home?" and he replies with "Whatever works..." I'm anxious. What on earth am I going to make? This will be his first home cooked meal in a long time and I want it to be something to remember.
  4. Reintegration: I don't even know where to start on this one. A few months ago, I went to a reintegration class designed for spouses. They went over the various challenges that we may face as we readjust to living in the same country, let alone the same house. No matter how much we don't want things to change, they will change. Everything has changed. We have new furniture, my hair is lighter and longer, I weigh less, Adalin is way different, our dog is calmer, our yard has more grass, I started using almond milk instead of 2%, there's more home decor... some of those things seem so minor, but all of these little changes are a lot to take in. Our relationship is used to being stretched over 7,000 miles... to adjust to living in the same 1400 square feet is absolutely going to be an adjustment. I'm used to being a "single mom," so adjusting to having a constant helping hand is going to be interesting. Cooking... as I said food is a stressor. I can probably count on two hands how many good homemade meals I've made since he left. Adjusting to just being able to call him is going to be crazy. Everything is going to take time to adjust.
  5. Block Leave: We don't know when exactly it is, we don't know exactly what we're doing. We know we're going to Michigan, but we're not sure for how long. There are lots of things we want to do at home, but we also just want to spend time with family. I already know that there are going to be arguments because we're not spending enough time with this person or we aren't doing that often enough... There's just not enough time to please everyone. There never will be. I'm already anticipating this drama and I really don't want to deal with it.
  6. Getting Back to "Normal:" I miss "normal." I'm tired of having half of my little family on the other side of the world. I'm ready to have our house back to its regular self. Things have been so out of whack for the last nine months. I'm ready to start our normal routine again. Wake up, he goes to PT and I make breakfast. He comes home for a shower and food, and goes to work, while I hang out with Adalin and clean/make lunch. He comes home for lunch or we meet him on post. Then he goes back to work, just to come home in time for dinner. Then we snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie or some quality CBS comedies until it's time for bed. I want that. I want our little family of three (or five if you include the dogs), to get back to normal. I know that the normal we will hopefully get back to soon will not be the same normal as we had nine months ago, but I'm ready for it. I'm just tired of the changing. I want things to settle, to be steady. I am far to anxious for the day that everything seems back to normal again. 
I guess that wraps up my top stressors for now. I'm still very anxious, but I'm much calmer than I expected to be at this point in deployment. I went through about a week of intense excitement and anxiety, but now I'm just drained. I just want him back. I want him home. 

God Bless ♥ V

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Climber Baby

Baby A is fearless. I tell you, there isn't a thing in this world that my child won't try. She is climbing on literally everything now, so I'm facing a whole new set of challenges. 

Today, she managed to reach on top of a table that had been completely ignored by her for the last several months. She grabbed a glass vase, my "Days Done" counter jar: 


This photo was taken a week or two ago, so it's even fuller now. Anyway... it shattered. Glass went everywhere and she freaked out. It didn't hit her, or hurt her at all. But goodness did it scare the crap out of her. I ended up cutting my foot and my hand while cleaning it up, but nothing major. Adalin is just fine now, but I'm going to have to reevaluate all of my baby-proofing. She can reach much higher than I though. 

I am starting to face a whole new set of challenges as she grows up. The taller (and braver...) she gets, the more I have to take care of. In a way, it's been great for housekeeping because I've been forced to eliminate a lot of clutter in the house. The worst part is that I'm literally running out of places to put things. I am going to invest in a few wicker baskets to keep things neatly tucked away, but it won't be long before she can reach those too. I'm not looking forward to that. 

In other news, I finished my patriotic wreath! I'm going to be posting a tutorial in a few days. I'm beyond happy with how it turned out. 

I'm off to go clean some more. I'm in major nesting mode after today's incident. 

God Bless ♥ V

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Surgery and Recovery

As some of you know, I had a lump on the side of my head that was becoming bothersome. After about a week, I went and got it checked out. Initially, my doctor thought it was a bug bite gone wrong... but after another week it was still driving me nuts. After an xray, CT scan, and an ultrasound, they determined that it was a cyst and should be removed.

My primary care doctor referred me to general surgery for a consult. At my consult, the surgeon was a jerk. He basically told me that my bump wasn't causing any of my pain, headaches, or other symptoms; and that the surgery was completely cosmetic. I had scheduled it for June 19th in hopes that my husband would be home before then. After talking with him a little more, we decided that it was pretty unlikely that he'd be home in time (what do you know, he won't be back then) so I moved it up to the 12th. Instead of waiting until he got home to have surgery, I decided to knock it out. I didn't want to risk my recovery time cutting into block leave since we're both very anxious to go home for a few weeks. I was extremely nervous since I'd never had surgery before, and was not looking forward to facing that without my husband.

Surgery day came... One of my closest friends watched Baby A for me, and another came to the hospital with me. We were hoping that she'd be able to come into the room with me since it was an in-clinic procedure. Again, my surgeon was a jerk and wouldn't even let her in the room for the anesthetic. So I sat there and cried. And cried. And cried. The nurses kept checking on me asking if I was okay, so I'd cry some more. They finally started and holy crap did the anesthetic hurt. That was far worse than I had expected. After that, I could only feel weird tugging and pushing sensations. When he actually removed the mass, I freaked out a little. It felt like he was pulling on my brain. I don't know if he was hoping it would just pop out of there, or what he was doing, but it was extremely uncomfortable. I won't go as far as to say painful, because it was "numb," but it was definitely not pleasant. They had a problem controlling my bleeding so they cauterized it. That stunk really bad. It smelled like burnt flesh. After that he stitched me up. They had to wash my whole head because there was so much blood in my hair. When I walked out to the waiting room, I was shaking pretty bad. I don't know if it was nerves or adrenaline... but it was uncontrollable. I was still rather shaken up when we got home, so I took some of my old anxiety medication and went to bed. Thank Jesus for my awesome friends who watched Baby A (and cleaned my kitchen!) while I was knocked out.

The next day, I was sore. I really wanted to wash my hair and relax. Eventually, I couldn't stand the "no shower" order any longer and just did my best to not get soap in the incision. That was an epic fail, but it didn't hurt too bad. Baby A wasn't all that accommodating with the relaxation wishes, but it wasn't too bad. I was still pretty out of it, and definitely sore, but was confident that recovery would go smoothly.

Day two post-surgery was awful. I felt like a zombie. I could barely hold a conversation. I was exhausted. I didn't feel like myself at all. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. After calling the doctor and getting some reassurance that these feelings were not complications of the surgery, my nerves were eased a little. I went to bed early that night and got some quality sleep.

Waking up the next morning, I was feeling quite a bit better. I wasn't dizzy and could actually follow a conversation for more than twenty seconds. We ended up spending the whole day at the beach and getting rather burned. It was a great relaxing day. Playing in the ocean has a wonderful calming effect.

That brings us to today. I'm still hurting. I'm actually kind of shocked. There's still a bump there, but I'm hoping that it's just swelling and from the stitches. Every time it gets bumped, I wince. I wasn't really expecting this surgery to be a magical cure-all, but I was hoping that it would make the sensitivity and headaches go away. So I'm a little disappointed with how the process is coming. I haven't lost hope yet, but we'll see where I'm at in a week from now.

My stitches come out on Wednesday. I'm anxious to see how that feels. I'm wondering if it will make the pain less or more. I'm excited to shower without pulling on them. I'll keep updating throughout the week. I'm hoping that in a few days, I will wake up and feel great.

God Bless ♥ V

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The End of Deployment

We're officially at the end! He's still not home yet, but we are super close. I can honestly say that the last month is worse than the first. I'm not sad, but I'm anxious. I want the end to be here, right now.

I'm going crazy. It's hard for me to sit down and stay still. I want to move and stay busy until I'm ready to go to the field. I can't do that though. I need to sleep. I need to relax. I need a chill pill.

I'm saving some things to be surprises for when he comes home. It's been really hard for me to not tell him every detail of our lives though. There's some exciting things going on that I really want to tell him, but I want to wait.

I'm knocking everything out that has to be done in the next week or so. My surgery is tomorrow, getting my hair fixed over the weekend. I'm finishing up shopping, for food and father's day stuff. I'm shampooing my carpets next week, and who knows what else. I'm just so anxious!

This post was much shorter than I expected, so maybe I'll update later. I'm off to the dentist!

God Bless ♥ V

Saturday, June 08, 2013

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I know that I've posted about respect before. The last post was about respecting others in a delicate situation. This time it's about respecting me and my respect for others.

As a young mom, I get looked down on quite a bit. People make comments like, "Well she's just a child. She doesn't know how to raise one..." or "Your generation doesn't understand how to parent." I'm sick of it. I'm not sad or upset, I'm just irritated and a little pissed. Being nineteen does not mean that I don't know how to be a parent. I do a damn fine job raising our daughter. She's smart, healthy, and developing much faster than many babies her age. If I were an ill-equip parent, do you think she'd be doing as well as she is? No.

It is my biggest pet peeve when people tell me how to raise my child. I'll be the first to admit, if I have a question, if I'm unsure, if I'm completely lost and have no idea what to do, I will ask for help. I will ask for advice. I'm not going to sit here and risk jeopardizing my daughter's future for the sake of my own pride. When "your generation" was learning to parent, I'm sure you got the same amount of crap that I am. People, things change!! Advancements are made to better society! Just because you did it "this way" xx amount of years ago, does not mean that the "new way" or "my way" is bad. It's just different. "Your way" might be awesome, but that doesn't mean that "my way" isn't just as great.

When I post photos of Adalin like this:


I get messages from people chewing me out for "letting that baby outside." First, she's inside. Second, I'm standing less than 3 feet away. Third, she's ten stinking months old. She's allowed to see sunlight. She's not a vampire, it's not going to kill her. 

Or there's this picture: 


And it starts again... "That baby is too young to be at the beach!" or "Does she have enough sun screen on? She's going to get burned." or "Salt water isn't good for baby's skin..." Seriously? I'm young, I'm not stupid. I hate being judged for my age. My baby's safety is always my number one priority. If I had the slightest inclination that something we were doing was not good for her health, I wouldn't be doing it. Notice in this picture, she has a hat on to protect her face from the sun (even though she has tons of sun screen on). Notice that I'm between her and the ocean, so if by some chance the 1/3 of an inch of water that occasionally reached where we were sitting magically washed her out to sea, I would be able to catch her. Notice that I'm about six inches away, she's not going anywhere. 

Heck, I don't even have to post pictures. Any time I mention Baby A, I get comments on how to raise her. I am so tired of being told what to do. 

I'll say it again, if I want help/advice (which I do, not necessarily frequently, but it definitely happens often) I will ask. Then, all those comments are welcomed! In fact, they're encouraged. Shoot, talk my ear off. Tell me all about how you did it in "your day." Tell me how dangerous it is to put a baby in two inches of water and hold on to her the whole time. 

I apologize for the sarcasm, but I'm extremely irritated today. 

The bottom line is that I want to be respected as a person and as a parent. I know what's best for me and for my child. I could see if I was some drug using, drinking, partying, irresponsible woman who didn't care for her child. That's not the case though. I'm a good mom. I'm a good person. I'm a grown woman with her own life. I'm not a middle-schooler, I'm not a high-schooler. I'm an adult. 

If, and only if, you respect me, I will respect you. If you look down on me, lecture me when it's not needed, tell me how everything I do is wrong, you can forget about me respecting you. Respect is earned. Look at my little girl and tell me that I haven't earned the respect I deserve. Honestly, look at her: 


She's happy. She's healthy. She's adorable (sorry, mom moment). She's an amazing little girl, and I am a good mom. 

So please, think about this the next time you give me, or any other young or new parent, advice they might not want. Sometimes your good intentions come off as offensive and unnecessary. 

God Bless ♥ V



Thursday, June 06, 2013

BabyPlush Teething Guard Review (Sponsored)

This post is a sponsored review for Etsy Shop BabyPlush.
I received a discount on products in exchange for this review.




BabyPlush is an Etsy shop of "handcrafted items perfect for birthdays, baby showers, holidays or just because! You will find baby legwarmers, shopping cart covers, diaper wallets, car seat covers, blankets, bibs and more!"

I found this shop in my pursuit to find something  to protect Baby A's crib from her little razor-like teeth. I found this listing and contacted Katie (the owner) to get my order started. Katie is a fellow military wife as well, her husband is in the Air Force. They've been married for five years now. She has a four year old son and a one year old daughter. It was her desire to make her daughter's nursery bedding that led her to creating BabyPlush. She strives to make unique and affordable quality items for babies, their brothers and sisters, and their moms! She makes every item she sells. Katie provides awesome customer service and a great turn-around time.

I was so excited to get these awesome teething guards from BabyPlush. Since a few months ago, Baby A has been really bad about teething on her crib rails. Her crib is solid wood, and great quality, so I'd definitely like to keep it for Baby #2 someday. It's convertible, so I plan to use it as her toddler bed as well. That being said, I want to keep it in as best shape as possible. With Miss A chewing it constantly, I needed to invest in something to protect it. Here's what I got: 


As you can tell, Baby A loves them. I fee better about her jumping on the bed too, since these guards are thick fleece. They protect her little head from the edges very nicely. I had an issue keeping the center tied in the front because of the wide bar in the middle. After sending these photos to Katie, she immediately made a new one with six ties instead of five, and also made it a bit wider to cover more of the front rail. BabyPlush customer service is awesome


She plays with them quite a bit. In the first few days, they stretched a bit (like all fleece does) so I retied them and haven't had any issue since. 


As any mom knows, babies don't "pose" for pictures very well. So you know that these were necessary from that picture. She chews on everything she can get her mouth on. 


I do double knot the bows so Baby A can't untie them. She's a smart little cookie, who is obsessed with ribbons and ties. Since I double-knotted them, I have had no issues whatsoever! 


Overall, I absolutely love BabyPlush. I wish would have found her sooner so I could have ordered some of Baby A's essentials. I will definitely be going to this Etsy shop for Baby #2 (someday). 


Visit BabyPlush on: 
Etsy
or


Wednesday, June 05, 2013

You Matter!

I've been watching a lot of my friends go through some self-worth problems lately. I've even been going through a bit of struggle. In my attempt to regain my self-confidence and self-worth I started reading a book, Secure in Heart: Overcoming Insecurity in a Woman's Life. So far, I'm loving it. Here's the part that has spoke to me most so far:


I have the Kindle Edition and am loving it. I'm not usually a big reader, but I've been loving my Kindle app on the iPad lately. I've been reading a few different books on it. I used to have a Kindle, but gave it to my mom when I got the iPad because I knew I wouldn't use it as much. For me, and my paper-loving child, the Kindle/Kindle app is much easier than carrying a book. Baby A really loves paper, so books are never safe. I am loving having the books on hand. 

Another thing I've seen some friends, and myself, struggling with lately is body image. I've found myself being extremely critical of my own body. (Note, I'm not posting my May progress pictures for two reasons... First, because I slacked off this month. Second,because I want my final progress to be a surprise for my husband). I am always thinking about how I wish this part of my skin was tighter, or that part of my thigh was less jiggly, or that I was tanner.... you name it, I've probably thought it. I am ecstatic that the scale is starting to show my progress, but I'm really trying to learn to love my body the way it is. God made me the way that I am. It's up to me to take care of my body, but I want to stop trying to change it drastically. 

I hope that passage of the book can speak to someone today. I know it gave me a little clarity in my life. 

God Bless ♥ V

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Productivity!

Productivity feels good! Though I haven't been sticking to my original plan for the week, I have been getting a lot done. It feels great to be active and productive.

Yesterday, I cleaned Baby A's closet, did her laundry, and cleaned our bathrooms. I've become pretty obsessed with clean showers. I bought Method's daily shower spray since it's baby safe and doesn't have harsh chemicals (who wants to bathe their little one in a tub of toxins?), and so far I'm a fan. Although I'm not too keen on the smell, it seems to be working pretty well. I already notice a bit of a difference in the shower walls and I've only been using it for a week. A's closet isn't anywhere near where I want it to be, but I can actually shut the door now. I decided not to move my guitar, amp, or dresses out yet, but I took a lot of her old toys up to the attic. Her play mat, mobile, and a few other bigger things are out. I also took my Boppy body pillow (this thing was my best friend through my whole pregnancy and for about 5 months after...) to the attic as well. That cleared up a lot of space to store the clothes that are too big for her. I typically buy a size ahead so I never face that "Oh crap! She grew two inches and five pounds overnight!" predicament. She has a whole tub and a half full of clothes for the end of Summer and Fall. There's plenty of room for all of that now.

Today, I've mowed and watered the yard, cleaned out the husband's Army closet, cleaned the guest room, and have done a few loads of laundry. This afternoon, I'm planning on steaming my floors, getting a little grocery shopping done, cleaning A's pool, and cleaning up the living room. I'm excited to see what my house looks like at the end of this week. It's going to be nice having a sparkly house.

I'm off to spend some time with my baby bean! She's been a grouch today so we'll see if I can cheer her up.

God Bless ♥ V

Sunday, June 02, 2013

Weekend Wrap-Up

My View Saturday
I think there is something wrong with my brain... This was one of the best weekends I've had through this entire deployment, but tonight I find myself in a funk. This weekend was seriously awesome. I took a road trip over to Fort Benning to see a great friend. I'd never been over there before, and I'll admit I was pleasantly surprised. It's beautiful over there, reminds me of home. There are so many hills and curvy roads. I loved it. We had a blast just catching up on Friday night. Saturday we hit the beach and I took some family pictures for them. I also rode a motorcycle for the first time in about 10 years. It was awesome! Today I got my official tour of Fort Benning. It was similar to what I expected, a little nicer in fact. The biggest shock for me was that all of the ranges are inside garrison. Here at Fort Stewart, all of the ranges are out of garrison, and on some pretty crazy long straight roads. There were ranges in the middle of Fort Benning, literally in the middle. That surprised me. Anyway, it was a fantastic weekend.

I did come to a conclusion though. Traveling to Michigan is going to be very very interesting this summer. The first three hours of our trip today were great. She fussed a little at the beginning, and then knocked out. Once we hit the three hour mark, almost exactly, she woke up screaming and didn't stop. I didn't stop once in the first three hours, and had to stop three times in the last hour because I was getting too distracted by her tantrum. She had a dry diaper, a full belly, nothing pinched, plenty of toys, and nothing else wrong. I tried absolutely everything. I know that she was just sick of being in the car seat, but I obviously couldn't just stop in the middle of no where and stay for the night. We were less than 30 minutes from home when I hit my breaking point. I cranked the radio, rolled down the windows, and just zoned. I could no nothing more for her. I absolutely hate letting her cry like that for so long, but I had exhausted all other options. She proceeded to cry for another solid hour once we got home, so she went to bed early. I don't know if she was over-tired or what, but she hasn't thrown a tantrum like that in a long time. I hope we have that long of a gap again because it was pretty unbearable.

I also find myself feeling detached from reality lately. Even though my husband has been deployed for well over half of a year, I have been forgetting that he's gone lately. I find myself thinking, "When I get home I'll make xx dinner dish because Jimmy will like it." Then I realize that I'm still only cooking for one, and want to cry. I don't know if I'm just so emotionally exhausted that I can't think straight, or what my problem is.

I get irritated over the stupidest things. Adalin's carpet has been stained since we moved into this house over a year and a half ago, but for the last week it has been driving me insane. I was planning on waiting until next week to rent a carpet cleaner, but I think it's going to happen in the next few days.

I'm so tired of not sleeping. It doesn't matter if I think Jimmy is going to get online or not, I don't sleep. If there's a chance he's going to get on, I don't sleep heavily because I don't want to miss his messages. If there's not a chance he'll get on, I don't sleep because I miss him. Adalin's been so rambunctious lately that I'm constantly worrying about her. She headbutts everything and is climbing on anything possible.

I'm so over deployment. I want my husband home. I'm tired of not knowing what's causing his bad days, his attitude, our lack of communication. I'm tired of having to deal with a 10.5 hour time difference. I'm tired of not being able to tell him that Adalin stood for a solid 20 seconds (or more) on the day that it happened. I'm tired of not being able to call him when I'm having a rough day. I'm just so tired. If I go to bed now, I will probably lay down and stare at the ceiling for an hour or two. I'm sick of this insomnia. Oh well, I suppose I should try. Adalin was on an early morning kick all weekend so I'm exhausted.

I really did have a great weekend though... Just a rough night. It's flown by fast and I'm ecstatic that this is one of the last weekends I'll be spending without my husband. We still have "many" to go, but we're closing in day by day.

God Bless ♥ V