Thursday, July 04, 2013

Reintegration: Week 1

Happy Fourth of July! My husband has officially been home for over a week! Wow, where does the time go? So, what's been happening in the last week?

On July 1st, we celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary.

Dinner at Applebee's was wonderful. I had the best fried apple cheesecake ever. Baby A was a fan as well. I tell you, this child is a riot. 

Okay, so to get to the meat of this post: reintegration! Here are the most prominent pros and cons of the first week: 

Things I'm Loving:
It is so great to have him home. Overall, things are going fabulously. We're still in the "honeymoon phase," but things are starting to feel more normal. What were the easiest things to adjust to?
  1. Adalin- Now, before you read ahead... Baby A tops both lists. She has adjusted far faster than I was expecting. She is such a daddy's girl, it's borderline obnoxious. Nothing makes me happier than telling her to "go get daddy," and having her scream "OKAY!" and run down the hallway after him. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever. She was a little leery of him for the first 24 hours or so, but after that she went right into daddy's arms and is willing to stay there forever.
  2. Sleeping- This might seem minor, but hey... I've been used to sleeping alone in a queen size bed for the last nine months. Anyone who knows me personally knows, I love sleep. So I was nervous that I wasn't going to be able to adjust to another body in the bed very quickly. No problems at all. I'm actually sleeping through the night for the first time in months. I'm not waking every few hours to make sure I didn't miss a call or Facebook message. It's wonderful.
  3. Food- My husband and I both haven't been eating big meals lately. I've probably cooked three or four times now, but we have been eating small meals for the most part. Next week will probably be the real test for this issue, but as of now it's just fine.
  4. Laundry- I haven't been doing much more laundry yet, just trying to catch up on washing everything that's been "Afghani-stained." I probably have a few loads left, but I could have knocked that out earlier in the week.
  5. Love- This should really be at the top of the list, but I wanted to save the best for last. I know so many women who say that they don't feel the same about their husband after deployment. I'm one of them. I love him more. Towards the end of deployment, we fought a lot. Just normal deployment stresses were at an all time high, but once his boots hit the ground that all went away. Our love is stronger than the day he left, and that makes my heart happy. 
and now... for the nitty gritty... 
Things That are Driving Me Nuts: 
Reintegration is an adjustment. Fights and irritants are going to happen. As I said, I've been used to living alone (well, with Baby A) for the last nine months... To throw another body into the mix is going to change things.
  1. Adalin- Though I had low expectations of what he was going to be used to at first, I still find myself getting frustrated with him. He's not used to being around babies, especially loud babies... Baby A takes "loud" to a whole new level. She pretty much has to make noise all the time. When she starts yelling or fussing in the car, he gets frustrated because it really isn't necessary. I'm used to it, so I just tune her out and go on with my day... but he gets frustrated. That frustrates me. Though it's only been a week, I'm hoping to make more progress on this front before we take our trip to Michigan.
  2. Messing with My System- I have become crazy psycho about my floors. I vacuum at least once a day, if not two or three times. I steam the kitchen floors all the time. I Clorox the counters, spray the shower, scrub the sink... it's kinda bad. The only place I can handle random clothes on the floor is the bedroom. So... when my husband walks in and takes his socks of in the living room and leaves them there, I get an anxious tick. Just kidding, but seriously... it's something I'm going to have to relax on a bit. My house is by no means spotless. Come on, I have an 11 month old... but I like things to be sanitary and at least somewhat orderly.
  3. Criticizing my System- This goes right along with #2. My system has been working great for nine months, so I'm getting frustrated when he thinks it needs to change. "Well why don't you put this over here?" he'll ask me innocently... "Because I like it over there!" Okay, so that's not our biggest issue, and it's really not that bad. I know that I need to adjust and allow him to have more say.I'm not the only adult living in this house anymore and he has as much right as I do to organize the way he wants to.
  4. Schedules and Punctuality- I'm very very anal about being on time. I don't like to be late, even by a minute. If we're supposed to be somewhere at noon, you can bet your money that I'll be there by 11:45. My husband, on the other hand... is completely fine with getting there at 12:05, 12:15... 12:30... I'm going crazy. I have become a very "now" person. When things need done, I do them now. Dishes are overflowing? I do them now. Laundry is ready to rotate? I do it now. Lawn needs mowed? I mow it the minute the rain finally stops (if it ever does...). My husband is more of a "When I'm Bored" type person. If there's something on TV, or the xbox is on, or the iPad is out... he will just 'do it later.' But, sometimes later doesn't come before I can't take it anymore. He's been on dish duty three times since he's been home (it's not really assigned, I've just asked him to do the dishes). Do you know how many times he's done them? Zero. I know that he will eventually, but if I get bored for even a moment, I go do something productive. I'm having trouble just sitting and relaxing. I still feel like everything needs to be prefect. 
As I said, overall everything has been going great. I'm pleasantly surprised with how easily everything is starting to fall into place. I know this post is a few days late, but I'm going to try to get my "Week Two" review out on Monday. I hope that this provides some insight to those of you who are going through, or are about to go through reintegration.

God Bless ♥ V