One year ago (yesterday), I said "see you soon" to my husband. My sweet nine-week-old baby girl said "see you soon" to her dad. My husband said "see you soon" to everything he knew. Our deployment started.
I remember not sleeping at all the night before he left. When morning came, I started bawling almost immediately. I knew that the day would bring more heartache and emotional distress than anything I'd ever experienced. To say that I was dreading that afternoon would be the understatement of the year. I desperately wanted time to stop. As I watched my husband get out of bed for the last time, brush his teeth for the last time, and pretend to be hungry enough to eat breakfast, I couldn't help but cry.
I watched my husband hold our daughter close, savoring every last moment he had with her. I watched him as he imagined what she would be like when he came home, how different she'd be, how much she would grow, how much she would be able to do.
When we went to the company to send him off, things went quicker than expected. Even though the minutes dragged on, the hours went fast. Once he went into formation it was all over... the tears were flowing. When he turned around and gave me "half of his heart," I lost it.
Somehow I managed to make it home, then back on post for a girls night. The next few days were long, making the adjustment to taking care of a new baby by myself, having my phone attached to my hip at all times, and learning to deal with the stresses of deployment.
When I reflect on the last year, I can not believe how much has happened. I look at my little girl, how tiny she was, and how much she has grown. I sit here and cry as I write this, because time goes way too fast. I felt so conflicted through the entire deployment: wanting time to speed up so my husband would be home, but wanting it to slow down so I could enjoy my little baby. Even though she was a chunky one, she was so little.
I think about how much she's changed. She has 1/3 less lung, 11 more teeth (and two cutting as I speak), and weighs 11 more pounds. She has grown about eight inches, and has went from three months clothing to 18 months and 2T. Her hair is lighter, her eyes are darker, and her voice is louder. She walks, talks, and learns something new every day.
I look at how much my life has changed. Though I'm not in school this semester, I've learned a lot. My photography is over double what it was last year. I have realistic goals that I'm working towards. My husband and I have grown closer. Life is good. We have a new dog, new furniture, and so many other new things. So much is different.
I see how much has changed in one year, and can't help but wonder where I'm at in a year from now. Will I be pregnant? Or even have another child? (Let's hope that's still a while off...) Will we be in this house or a different one? Will I still be doing photography? Will I open a studio? Will I get a "normal" job and put A in daycare? Who knows where we will be in a year. Chances are, we will still be here in Georgia. I'll be closing in on graduating from Georgia Southern. Hopefully Miss A will be potty trained. Maybe my photography will have taken off and I'll have an office space in a bigger house, or even a studio. Who knows!
I'm excited to see what the next year gives to us.
God Bless ♥ V