Since this blog is now about everything life, I feel the need to blog about my most recent frustration as a photographer. I desperately want a new camera. The one that I have now was great for me to learn on, but now that I have found my style, figured out how to change settings to get the shot I want, and realized the limitations of my camera... I realize how much more I could do with a better camera. I have had my eye on the Canon 6D for quite a few months now. I had originally planned on upgrading to a 60D (not as much of an upgrade) in August, but was talked into investing in more lenses instead of a camera that still wouldn't do as much as I'd like. The 6D usually retails for right around $2,000 so it's not just a drop in the bucket. Near the end of last month, the price dropped dramatically, down to $1,573 on Amazon. Score right? If only I had $1600...
Well now, I'm growing more and more impatient. Though I have over 25% of what I need for this upgrade, it's taking forever. I have been saving for months, but something always comes up. It's extremely frustrating for me. The price went back up this past weekend, to $1900, so it's out of reach again. I'm starting to seriously consider taking a personal loan out to pay for it, because then I'll be forced to save (or pay) a certain amount each month. Every time I get to the point I'm at today, "I'm doing it. I want this camera," I talk myself out of it. I know that it would feel amazing to pay for it on my own, without the help of a bank... but dang it! I'm impatient! I've had my heart set on this for so long. I know that just because you want something, doesn't mean it's going to come easy. Just because I've been saving, doesn't mean it's just going to appear. Sometimes you just have to be patient and wait until you have the means to get what you want.
I'm trying so hard to be patient. I feel like, even though $2,000 is a lot of money, it's not that much money. I don't feel like I should have to save for months and months and months to get to the point where I won't feel guilty spending that much. Sure, I could take a chunk out of our savings and buy the thing.. but where does that leave us? What if something we actually need comes up and we can't afford it because I wasn't patient enough to just save my pennies for this? That's why I want to do this on my own. What if there's an emergency and I need to buy a plane ticket home? What if I total my car? What if one of the dogs gets sick and has an expensive vet bill? I don't want my camera desires to take away from our financial security. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever be able to spend $2,000 on myself and not feel guilty, but maybe I'll surprise myself.
I need to give a huge thank you to my husband for being so supportive of my dream, and for being tolerant of all my whining about this lately. I seriously have dreams about this dang thing, and wake up frustrated as crap because some crazy woman "took the last one on sale for 50% off." I think there's something wrong with my brain. So, husband, thank you for putting up with my crazy self. I know I don't make it easy sometimes.
I'm off to figure out what I'm doing with my afternoon. I still have camera on the brain, so I'll probably do something photo related.
God Bless ♥ V