Friday, April 25, 2014

Blogger Fail

I'm the world's worst blogger, I swear. April, where have you gone?

Okay! So, here's a quick recap of the month. We had an absolutely amazing visit with my in-laws. Miss A had so much fun with them. She loves her nana and uncle Wy so much, it kills me that they're so far away.

Hubs has been gone since shortly before my in-laws arrived, so Miss A has been having some rough days. I try really really hard not to complain about field time, since it's part of this life and I've known it's been coming... but dang is it hard to bite my tongue sometimes. It's been rough. Field time is 10x worse with a little one at home who constantly asks for daddy. At least 50 times every day, I get asked where daddy is. It's tough. 


We're finally closing in on the end of field time (thank God!), just in time for me to pack up to leave for Washington and Colorado. I can't believe we have less than two weeks until my trip. I'm so excited to see friends I haven't seen in months. This trip should be an amazing life experience.

Other than that, life is pretty normal. Miss A and I have been spending lots of mommy-daughter time together. I love spending quality time with her. 


Well, that's all! I'm off to finish up school work for the week. Only one week of classes, and finals left until I have a two week break before summer semester!

God Bless ♥ V



Friday, April 04, 2014

The Days the Army Sucks.

Today is one of those days that I really do wonder what life would be like if my husband wasn't in the Army. Hubs is out at Gunnery for the next couple weeks. Even though he's been gone for less than three days, Miss A is missing her daddy worse than ever before. It's honestly killing me.

She got to talk to him for a few brief minutes today, but the call quality was terrible. Other than that, she hasn't talked to him, hasn't skyped him, and hasn't seen him. Through all of that, she also hasn't stopped asking about him. All day long, I hear "Daddy? Where's daddy?" or "I want my daddy," or "No mom. Daddy."

Along with missing daddy, she's also extremely extremely attached to mom. Yesterday, I had full intentions of leaving Miss A at daycare for the first time since the beginning of February. We went in the morning to get her familiarized again. Well, that failed. As soon as we walked into her classroom she had a full meltdown. We're talking complete panic: huge sobs, panicked breathing, and shaking uncontrollably. It was horrible. We ended up staying about an hour and a half to get her comfortable again, but I didn't take her in to stay that afternoon. Once we got home, she didn't leave my side until she went to bed.

Today is even worse. As I type this, she's sitting on my lap, squirming ridiculously... but if I try to put her down, she panics. I hate that she's afraid to be away from me. I want her to be confident enough to venture.

It's days like today that I really realize that the life we live isn't normal. It's not "normal" to have your husband gone for weeks and weeks at a time. It's not "normal" to have to ask your husband to repeat himself seventeen times because you can't hear him over the gunfire in the background. It's not "normal" to see tanks rolling next to the road, and not look twice. It's not "normal" to be unable to call your husband whenever you need to. It's just odd.


Almost all of the time, I really don't mind this lifestyle. It's all my husband and I have known together. I am used to him being gone, to traveling alone, and to essentially raising our daughter by myself. That's not something foreign to me. He does as much as he can, when he can, but he is gone a lot. Adalin is not used to that. She wants her daddy to give her a bath like he does every night. She wants him to tuck her into bed and give her kisses. She wants him to tickle her and read her books. She can't understand why he's not here to do that right now, and that absolutely kills me.

At the end of the day, we make due with what we can. He calls as much as he is able to, and I distract her to the best of my ability. It's still hard, but it's doable. I think that once she gets older, and understands what "Daddy's working this week" means, it might be a bit easier. I know that the questions will still come, but at least the answers will make a little more sense.

God Bless ♥ V

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Emotional

I guess I feel like writing today. I'm not sure if it's coming off of my steroids from severe seasonal allergies, my husband leaving for the field tomorrow, or a combination of the two, but I'm about eighty kinds of emotional today.

I woke up this morning feeling all mushy. I just want to cuddle my sweet girl and my husband all day long. Miss A won't have that much snuggling, and hubs has to work, so I sit here on the couch snuggling with a cozy blanket and taking the time to ponder my thoughts.

Miss A was being a bit of a stinker this morning, so I turned off Curious George and threw on Pandora (this is a bigger deal than you'd think to a toddler). After a minor mental break down, Miss A started jamming out to the music. This was exactly what I needed today. Until...

A few songs in, Tim McGraw's My Little Girl came on. Shortly after the song started, Adalin picked up her purse, mirror, and toy phone. She grabbed her sweatshirt and came over for a kiss. She says, "Bye, mommy," and gives me a squeeze, then proceeds to walk over to the door like she's heading out for the day or something. All while this song is playing, I sit here in amazement at how big my little girl has gotten. Holy waterworks. To make things even better, as I sat here sobbing on the couch, she comes back over to me and says, "okay mommy." She just sat down next to me and rubbed my back like I do hers when she's upset. Oh man. It's been a morning.

Now, it's not even 10:00, and I'm just a blubbering mess. My kid is definitely not a baby anymore. When did this happen? She turned a whopping twenty months yesterday. I stopped counting at months at eighteen unless someone asks specifically. I've been saying she's one and a half for two months now, and it's weird to me. She's growing so quickly, it depresses me.

Time needs to slow down so I have time to take all this in. I only blogged once last months since I've been so on the go. I just want to sit back and relax for like a month. This month won't permit that though. Next week, while the hubs is gone, his family will be here visiting. I know that we're going to have a blast, even though he won't be with us. The following week, I don't have much going on but I know that things will pop up. Then I'll begin prepping for my trip to Washington and Colorado in May. I still have a lot to do for that, so I'm really hoping that this month will permit me to get everything done.

I'm also closing in on the end of the semester for school. I have stayed very on top of my school work this semester, until last week. Spring break was a bad choice for me. I didn't do enough school work to say so over that week, so I'm out of practice already. Fingers crossed that I'll get back on the ball this week so I can end the semester with a bang.

God Bless ♥ V

Being Scared of Your Kids

I saw a post on Facebook early this morning that really had my wheels turning. A parent in our area moved his teenage daughter's bedroom to their driveway since she refused to clean it. Funny, sure. Extreme, maybe a little. Yes, it definitely got his point across, but I feel like there may have been other ways.


One of the comments on this photo said something about how parents should do this more often and how they need to "stop being afraid of their kids." This is what got me thinking. I don't think that this was done out of fear of his daughter, but maybe frustration. Regardless, being afraid of your kids isn't okay. Why fear them?

Since I always seem to take an idea and run with it... I ended up on a completely different path: your kids fearing you. So many parents I see use scare tactics (even the man from the photo) to get their children to behave. What kind of relationship is that? Using fear to get what you want isn't healthy. 

I never what my children to fear my husband or me. Parenting is a journey of mutual respect. Can you imagine the conversation that happened in that house last night? This was reported on several news stations, and has nearly a thousand shares on Facebook in just 10 hours. Anyone in the area who knows this girl, knows it was her. Everyone in their subdivision knows it was her. I can't imagine. Even though she will probably never have a messy room again, what did this do to her relationship with her dad? She's never going to trust him again, at least not for a long time. This is something that's going to stick with her for a long time.

I want to have an open relationship with my kids. I want them to be able to come to me with everything, and not constantly be afraid for my reaction. I see all these comments on the post saying "Parenting done right," or "This is how it should be done." But really, what did that accomplish? 

A lot of you are probably thinking that I'm a softy now. Honestly, I might be. Keeping in mind that I don't have teenagers, and that I'm barely out of my teenage years myself... I just don't see the point in this. I guess my views may be extremely different in thirteen years when Miss A is fighting to clean her room, is talking to a boy we don't like, and is wearing clothes that may not be age appropriate. Maybe then I'll be more likely to want to resort to publicly shaming my child (note the sarcasm there). 

I suppose this is just some food for thought today. I was fortunate to never fear my parents. They did a pretty great job keeping trust between us. I can only hope that we will have that healthy of a relationship with our kids. 

God Bless ♥ V